...and repeat...
There is small progress, but it is slow and grueling. So sorry to be complaining. We would rather report on the joys of our new family.
Dimcho is mostly happy, with the occasional screaming meltdown, but less than once a day. He has suddenly become a fussy eater, disliking carrots and salad, which only a few days earlier he gobbled down. We assume this means he is feeling confident about food. Elisey is making some progress, sometimes accepting a compromise or a limit. And today we finished armoring the entranceway (read: install locks all around) and installed the clown, an inflatable Bozo bop bag, there, and successfully directed Elisey to beat him up. He needs an acceptable outlet for his frustration and anger and if we can get him to take it out on a clown, and not on us or his brother, so much the better.
Last night Elisey, after some prodding, relinquished his Android music tablet and sat on my lab while we read Dr. Seuss, and happily counted in both Bulgarian and English. When Dimcho was being difficult going to bed, Elisey announced repeatedly that he was tired. ("Izmoren" in Bulgarian.)
This morning we took chalk and were drawing on the back patio, very happily. But then Elisey wanted to write on walls inside, and on the carpet, and when we said no and invited him to go back outside, he flew into a rage and knocked things off a table.
And so it goes. There is progress: for example, he almost never attempts to mess with the CD/DVD players in the family room, or to plug and unplug it constantly, which he had in the early days. He seems to be seeking affection from us a little more often. Although we can't help but notice when he hugs us, he often uses the opportunity to fiddle with something behind one of us. Still, we assume even pretend affection will eventually morph into real affection.
And he does cry, genuinely, when one of us leaves the house to run an errand, which we hardly ever do. Today I ran to the post office, even explaining to him I was going and coming back, and being careful to wave to him from the car. Even so he ran to his room sobbing literally before I left the house. We assume this separation anxiety is ultimately a good thing, as it means the beginning of real attachment. And he can show compassion and empathy. The other day Donna teared up listening to some sentimental Christmas music and the boys became alarmed and called to me. The fact that they are upset by someone else displaying sadness is a real important step, we feel. We hope.
And so it goes...
