Home

We arrived home safe and mostly in one piece. The 24-hour journey home was exhausting--it simply couldn't be any other way. However there were no hitches and the boys were remarkably well-behaved, all things considered. They melted down a few times, especially towards the end when they were completely exhausted, but that can hardly be blamed. Now comes the hard part of getting them settled here. It will be especially hard because Elisey is at an age when he reflexively tests limits, and he uses the fact that we don't speak very good Bulgarian to try to further push limits. Our "handlers" in Bulgaria told us this is very typical. Being typical, however, doesn't make it easier. Over the next few weeks I'll try to post more news, more about the trip now that I have access to a proper computer. However that will be at night when the boys are sleeping and if and when I have the energy/insomnia. I'll just make one observation. While the boys' orphanage was relatively warm and caring, and they had some toys, they slept in a large common room with no toys. We have learned the hard way they only way they will get to sleep is strip their room of absolutely every distraction. Not only toys, but if there is even superfluous furniture they will move it around, or pictures hanging on the walls they will touch and take down. Even lights they will turn on and off and on and off and on and off and on and off and unplug and plug in and unplug and plug in and unplug and plug in. This is largely because they had pretty regimented lives in the orphanage and very little control over their environment, so any control is fascinating, even central to them. Indeed, they barely "play" with toys at all. Dimcho spends most of his time taking possessions in and out of bags, while Elisey loves more than anything pushing buttons, not only emotional and psychological but real buttons. He wants to "watch" television but for him the real enjoyment is not the images and sound but control, changing channels, changing volume; on the airplane flight he changed the brightness on the screen from darkest to lightest and back again, over and over. On occasion they will throw a ball back and forth, or ride a bike or play with a car, pretending it is driving around; but just as much Dimcho, for example, will "play" at cleaning, because that is one of the main tasks he saw his caregivers perform. Part of our job over the next months, then, will be modeling for the boys how to truly interact with and play with toys. This is part of the reason we have strongly discouraged gift-giving at this time because they don't fully know how to enjoy being a child at play.